Natsu Basket!
by Koneku
Summary: What happens if you mix summer vacation, Fruits Basket, randomness, and CABBAGES? Natsu Basket! Rated for Kyo's mouth. Tsk, Tsk.
1. Cabbages, Bananas, and Cookies Oh my!

Summary: What happens if you mix summer vacation, Fruits Basket, randomness, and CABBAGES? Natsu Basket! This is the story of the craziest summer ever experienced by the FB cast.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or any of the characters. Only this story. I really hope you knew that, or else I'd be scared. oO

Anyway, welcome to my first fanfic ever! That I'm publishing, anyway. You should of seen some of my others they are HI-LAR-EE-OUS! Ah-ha-ha-ha. There is this one guy, he read it, and boy, did he-

Everybody: Ahem.

Oh. Okay, sorry about that. That just tells you about my tendency to get off topic and go into random things. Without further ado, I present to you...Natsu Basket.

**Natsu Basket!**

**Chapter 1 – Cabbages, Bananas, and Cookies...Oh my!**

It was summer vacation! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the cool breeze gently rustled the leaves from the shady trees. What could spoil such a beautiful day? Nothing! Let's take a peek inside the Sohma's home...

"MAN, THIS SUCKS!" Kyo raged chucking a cabbage at Yuki's head (he ducked). "I DON'T WANT THIS DAMN CABBAGE, OKAY?"

Um...forget what I said that last part. There is one thing that can spoil such a beautiful day, and that is the orange cat/person who needs anger management, Kyo. I won't even begin to tell you why he and Yuki are fighting over cabbages, but if you want, I'll tell you anyway...

**Flashback**

"Yay! It's lunchtime!" Tohru exclaimed ditzily from the kitchen. "Let's have a PICNIC!"

"That sounds good, Honda-san." Yuki said mysteriously and gave her one of his just-plain-CREEPY smiles.

"OKAY!" she replied, obviously not noticing this at all.

"WHAT? I don't want no damn pic-" Kyo began to say, but was cut short by a whirling mass of green leaves that whacked him on the head.

"Don't," Yuki said, holding up another random cabbage that he swiped from the kitchen table, "begin that stupid bickering again." Then he smiled and added, "Baka neko."

"ARRGH!" Kyo screamed, threw the cabbage back at Yuki, and this is where we end today. Well, it WAS today at that time, but then, now it is still today, so that means that what happened was that today-

**End Flashback**

"It's going to be a wonderful day!" Tohru said, having not noticed any of the cabbage battle.

"Where's Shigure?" Yuki said, now through with throwing objects of produce around at orange cat people.

"He's sleeping. Stayed up all night on that novel again." Tohru said sadly, although it really wasn't that tragic.

However, all the noise did wake him up, so now he's...awake. So yeah!

"What's all the noise?" Shigure said, half-asleep. "I was just...having...a..." With that, he walked over to the couch and fell asleep. I didn't know what just really happened, but yeah! He's in the same room!

Tohru (man, how OBLIVIOUS can you get?) happily started making some onigiris and boiled cabbage. I just had to add the cabbage to this story. So stupid...

Wearily, Kyo got up and picked up the remote. He turned on the TV. It was blank. "Strange...he muttered. "How could it..."

There was suddenly a loud crashing sound outside. Shigure jerked awake, Yuki tripped, and Kyo accidently threw the remote which hit him on the head. Oh, and Tohru actually noticed (!) and dropped the head she was holding (no, not a human head, a head of cabbage! Geez! Okay, I'll stop obsessing over cabbage now. )

There was a pause. Finally, Kyo spoke.

"What the hell was THAT?"

There was three polite knocks on the door. Shigure went to get it, since he though he knew who it probably was. And he was right. It was...

Ayame?

"AYA! What brings you here to a wonderful home today, my love?" Shigure exclaimed, practically hyperventilating with happiness.

"Only to bring joy and fun to all those around me, O Gure-san!" Ayame replied overdramatically, flinging his coat which landed on Kyo's head.

"And destruction." Yuki remarked peering outside.

Shigure looked, and saw that there WAS some minor destruction. Ayame's car seemed to have crashed into a trashcan, which spun right into the wall of his house, leaving a small dent, so it's all fine!

Well, that's what HE saw. What everybody else saw was a beaten up little car imbedded in the opposite room's wall, and a satellite dish that had fallen on top of it.

"Oh, that's fine!" Tohru said interrupting the uncomfortable silence, except for the sound of Kyo ripping the coat into shreds. "I've got cookies!" As if that solved everything.

At the sound of the word _cookies_, Momiji bounced out from Ayame's car from the other room and exclaimed, "I WANT SOME, I WANT SOME!" He threw his bag of bananas that he had brought along, which also hit Kyo on the head. Except for the fact that it hurt a lot more than Ayame's coat.

"Momiji!" Yuki said surprised. "YOU were in AYAME's car?"

"Uh-huh." he replied, as he was Momiji and didn't care how close to death he was at that point, with Kyo standing there with a huge welt on his head clutching a iron mallet and all.

With that, they all ate cookies! With strawberry icing and chocolate chips! Yay!

Shigure laughed. "Boy, is Hatori gonna blow his top when he hears of this! I better stay out of this madness." He took a cookie.

"Aw, not even Hatori can be that mean!" Ayame chuckled. "It's just a little crack." He indicated the wall. Kyo glared at him, but stayed silent.

"How can friends be mad with each other for a little thing like this?" Shigure gasped, taking another cookie. "Momiji seems very happy. Not even a scratch!"

Yes, he was happy alright. Hyper too. He was on his fifth cookie.

"YayYayYaythesecookiesaresogreatIwantanothercanIcanIcanITohru?" Momiji yelled waaaay too loudly.

"Sure, Momiji-kun! I made them ALL for my friends to share!" Tohru replied with upside-down U eyes.

"YAY!" Momiji said again.

"Those cookies are delicious!" Shigure exclaimed, taking yet another cookie.

"EXCUSE ME, but it's all Ayame's fault that I can't watch TV now!" Kyo screamed suddenly. "God, you even didn't tell us why you are even here, dammit! And what's with the bananas?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" Ayame gasped. "I am so ashamed! How can I have gotten so low?" he cried, striking a dramatic pose. "I've arranged a surprise summer beach party for ALL of you! Right now! Let's go!"

There was a silence. Finally, Tohru spoke.

"Want a cookie, Kyo-kun?"

And so begins the worst Sohma summer every encountered...in a basket!

**Kyo's Korner!**

I know, lame first chapter, right? I'M JUST GETTING THE HANG OF IT! Geez! Oh well, here's Kyo's Korner, where our favorite cat shall discuss important issues concerning general welfare. Just kidding. Our favorite cat shall be yelling and screaming random topics of total boredom. And your questions too!

Since no one has asked a question yet, I shall do the honors.

Koneku: What do you hate more, Leeks or Cabbages?

Kyo: WHAT KIND OF STUPID QUESTION IS THIS? Of course leeks! ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?

Koneku: -grr- Okay, Kyo, if you can have one wish, what would it be? Besides beating Yuki in a fight?

Kyo: Um...-goes to a corner to think- I've never thought...but maybe...I'd like...not really...hmm...

Koneku: Okay, fine, forget that last part.

Kyo: TO BEAT YUKI IN A FIGHT, OF COURSE!

Koneku: I think I've had enough of meaningless discussion with Kyo.

This had been Kyo's Korner! See you next time!

By the way, they won't be at the beach for the entire fanfic...it's on the whole summer, remember...-shifty eyes-

Bai!


	2. The Invasion of teh EBIL Seagulls

Disclaimer: I STILL don't own Fruits Basket. But someday...(I kid, I kid)

**Chapter 2 – The Invasion of the Seagulls!**

Now where were we when we left off...? Ah! The Sohmas (or at least some of them) were about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime...to the BEACH! Actually, they must have been to the beach before, so I guess this isn't their first time. But this shall be their WORST! Muahahahaha...ha...eh...

"I don't WANT to go to any stupid beach." Kyo complained from the back seat of Ayame's car. "You can't just waltz in here and take us off to wherever you damn well please!"

"Now, now, Kyo-kun, you should be thankful that I'm using MY time, and MY money for your personal enjoyment." Ayame replied back, although I think he didn't really spend any money on this random trip.

"But...but-"

"No 'but's Kyo!" Ayame said angrily, "Or else I'll leave you out in the middle of the road!"

Although Kyo probably WANTED to be out of this crazy car, he kept his mouth shut for once.

The only other people in the car were Yuki, Tohru, Shigure, Hatori, Haru, and Momiji. How Hatori and Haru got there, you ask? Well, it's a long story...

Actually, just kidding. I have no idea. I just wanted Haru in the story, cause he's COOL, and you probably wanted to too! Also, the Mabudachi Trio HAS to be together! It is their job to spread the joy of flowers all around the world! The three musketeers! The amigos! THE SUPER HANDSOME BLOSSOM TRIO, for pete's sake! ARRGH!

"We're going to have SO much fun!" Tohru exclaimed happily.

"YAY!" Momiji added.

"Who CAN'T have fun at the beach?" Shigure laughed.

"I like the beach." Haru stated.

"You realize I'm just here because the author dragged me along." Hatori grumbled.

_I want to go home..._Yuki thought. Can't blame him. Who would want to go to the beach with their annoying older brother, arch nemesis, and some other random crazy people?

And of course, Kyo was still fuming. I think I already explained why he was in the beginning of this chapter. "Well, just because I'm here, doesn't mean I'm going to LIKE it." Kyo retorted stubbornly, as Ayame drove horribly on ahead. His driving skills suck. Really. People like Yuki and Hatori can get heart attacks from this. But then, people like Tohru didn't notice, people like Kyo were too mad to even CARE, and people like Shigure enjoyed the thrill of going 90 miles per hour crushing many, many poor defenseless squirrels.

I'm glad there's no squirrel in the Jyuunishi, then.

_1 hour later_

"This REALLY sucks." Kyo complained for about the millionth time. "I'm so freakin' bored, and I'm being taken to some place I don't even WANT to go."

"Are we there yet?" Momiji asked for the TRILLIONTH time. (ha! He beat Kyo!)

Ayame turned around from the steering wheel and grinned. "Well, actually, we ARE here now! Welcome to..." he turned back and looked at the sign. "The Ebil Crazy Guller's Beach?"

"That can't be right." Hatori said, looking outside. "You said we were going to the 'Sunshine Paradise Happy Beach'."

"Maybe it doesn't exist, so let's just get out of here now as this beach is Ebil and Crazy." Yuki said quickly.

Ayame frowned. "Definitely not! Just because this isn't the same beach that we planned on going, doesn't mean that we can't go! Come on!"

And so, Tohru, Momiji, and Shigure happily followed Ayame, as well as Hatori, Yuki, and Kyo, who were all trialing behind dejectedly. As for Haru? Well...everybody made him carry all the stuff, and as he is the ox, he would have been the slowest anyway.

"Ah...doesn't the salty beach air smell so INVIGORATING?" Shigure remarked as Haru suddenly collapsed underneath the various umbrellas, towels, bottles of sunscreen, and beach chairs.

"Why, yes, Gure-san, it does!" Ayame replied. Just so you know, the Ebil Crazy Guller's Beach is an EBIL beach. No, not evil. EBIL. EBIL is a lot worse than just plain old EVIL. It was sunny, yes, but there were barely any people there, but EBIL people. There was an EBIL lifeguard that never saved anyone anyway, EBIL shells that always get stepped on, and EBIL hermit crabs that always pinch you if you get to close. But the rulers of this EBIL beach are none other that...

The EBIL seagulls.

Everyday, they survey their territory. Those who disturb then, are destroyed. Those who mock them, are murdered. Those who poke them, are pooped on. The seagulls ARE the rulers. No one has challenged them ever in time. Thus is the rule of the seagulls.

"Alright, let's set the umbrellas up right here, and the chairs right here, and oh! Don't forget your sunscreen! And here's the boom box-"

Hatori looked at Ayame incredulously. "What on earth did you bring a boom box for? Are you even allowed to play one on this beach?"

Ayame scowled. "Of course! This beach has NO rules! That's what I like!"

"Ayame, Ayame!" Momiji cried, jumping up and down. "Can me and Tohru go in the water? Please? PLEASE? PLEASE?"

"I love swimming in the ocean!" Tohru added happily.

"Why, of course! Go ahead!" Ayame smiled, and proceeded to set up all the beach things. Haru, by now, got up and was slowly moving his way to the restroom to change into his swimming trunks. GO, HARU, GO!

"Hey! What did I miss!" Shigure said, running to Ayame and Hatori from the restroom. He was wearing...something that is NOT his kimono and something that is NOT swimming trunks. Make up something in your mind.

"Nothing. Just some mindless discussion with Ayame." Hatori grumbled. HE was wearing something that is NOT his doctors outfit and something that is NOT swimming trunks. Cause I just CAN'T imagine Hatori in swimming trunks. It's REALLY scary just to think about it.

As for Ayame, well...he was just wearing his normal clothes. Yes, at the BEACH. It's not like he was planning to go into the water or anything. Or even sunbathe.

Why the hell am I talking about CLOTHES anyway?

By now, Momiji and Tohru got changed and were literally plunging into the sea. They better watch out for the EBIL sharks! Just kidding. Anyways, the EBIL seagulls are scarier.

Kyo looked around the beach angrily. He wasn't planning to go to the beach anyway, until Ayame just decided to come, destroy the house, as well as at least a hundred other things that annoyed Kyo. In his MAX anger, he kicked a rock really hard in a random direction. Unfortunately, it hurt his foot because he kicked it so hard. Even MORE unfortunately, it hit a seagull.

An EBIL seagull.

DUN, DUN, DUN!

To be continued. Ha! A cliffhanger! Boy, do I love to torture my readers or what?

**Kyo's Korner!**

We're back with KYO'S KORNER! Here are some new questions for him to answer.

Koneku: What annoys you the most about Ayame?

Kyo: EVERYTHING! He is so damn annoying! Do I even need a REASON?

Koneku: Sheesh, no need to use so much punctuation...okay, do you LOVE Tohru?

Kyo: ...eh? Do I have to answer this?

Koneku: YES!

Kyo: TOO BAD! Cause I WON'T!

Koneku: Well, it's kinda obvious anyway...

Kyo: WHAT?

Koneku: Aww...you're so cute as a kitty! Can I hug you?

Kyo: NO.

Koneku: -hugs him anyway- Aww...you're so cute!

Kyo-Kitty: ARRGGHH!

Next time on Kyo's Korner...I shall ask YUKI questions! Yes, I know it's called "KYO's Korner", but I just liked how it sounded. I can ask ANY Fruits Basket character questions I please, so ha!

Bai!


End file.
